Interview with the Scrum Cow

We interview the world’s first Scrum Cow. As it turns out, Scrum has become very popular on the farm and cows everywhere are performing stand ups on a regular basis!

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Robb: All right, so today we’ve got a Scrum Cow. I’ve never even heard of this thing before, but there it is in the in the flesh. And we’re going to ask you some questions Scrum Cow because we hear you’ve been using Scrum in the in the field. Where else do you use Scrum? I’m very curious. Tell me what are your experiences so far using Scrum… as a cow?

Scrum Cow: Well, what have you “herd”? Robb?

Robb: I’ve heard the stand ups are a little weird.

Scrum Cow: They are, and the tip overs are even more absurd, but enough of the cow jokes, right? Scrum as a cow? Well what you learn is we know how to stick together, and knowing the lay of the field is important. You got to watch out for those nasty holes that will get you. So we’re always watching out
for those road blockers and whatnot that can trip up any one of our herds. So as a Scrum Cow, I’m kind of watching out for the whole herd. I’m making sure that the environment is suitable so that every cow has a nice fresh patch of grass to chew on. If you want any production out of your cows, you got to make sure the grass is clean and green. You know what I’m saying? So, it’s clean and green. That’s the way to some happy Scrum.

Robb: I like happy cows. So, Scrum Cow, are you like the Scrum Cow Master? The Scrum Master Cow? How do you describe yourself?

Scrum Cow: Yeah, that’s exactly right. It took a little while for my friends to finally respect that, but once I got myself the Scrum hoodie everything kind of changed. They recognized me as really being the Scrum Cow Master. Now that we’ve got that sorted out they’ve accepted me and really appreciate my leadership overall, as I can make sure we’re heading them to greener pastures each and every Sprint.

Jason: Can you tell me a little bit about what kind of impediments you come across Scrum Cow? And how do you help your team through those?

Scrum Cow: Awhhh… impediments…maaan..  Um, let’s see, probably the biggest one that we have to deal with is the nasty fly problems. Have you ever been in a herd of cows and they’re constantly swatting and swinging their tails and they are just absolutely annoyed? It’s the fly problem, that’s probably our number one complaint for most of our herds. So, I really have to work with the general farming organization to talk about getting rid of those pesky flies, they are just terrible! They don’t seem like they’re annoying because they’re so little. But when you pile up those little annoyances, and you get a bunch of them, they will just destroy the herds effectiveness and you can’t get anything done. Everybody’s unhappy. I don’t care how much green grass you’ve got; you’ve got to get rid of the flies, easy to miss. There are so little, those little rascals.

Robb: In terms of team management, I mean do you have like a hierarchy in the Scrum Cow world? I mean, cows that are senior managers? Cows that are green beans? How does that work?

Scrum Cow: Well, I mean, because we’re constantly growing as a herd, you’ve got the Mama Cows that are always watching out for the Baby Cows. Those are the ones you got to care for the most. I mean, really, that’s the future of our Scrum. If we’re not watching after that, making sure we are creating a good environment for their development and growth, continuously learning, and improving… I mean, that’s kind of the theme that we really, really push here in the cow herd. We do this with little cow retrospectives. What we usually do is just get everyone kind of huddled up in this little pen area. We’re making sure there’s some nice little vittles and whatnot to kind of snack on. Then we talk about things that we like and don’t like. You know, we really work together to make the best effort this next go around. We call that a retrospective — a little Cow Retro.

Robb: Little Cow retro. Nice! Well, I’m just impressed that Scrum has made its way to, to the cow fields. Like that’s just shocking to me.

Scrum Cow: It’s the next big thing. And when you’re dealing with a growing herd like ours, you got to be nimble. We’ve seen some nasty stories about what happens in cows that don’t get the proper attention. And we don’t want that to happen here. So, for us to be able to not just survive, but thrive. Go Scrum! That is all I got to say.

Jason: All right, I think we’ve milked this conversation for all it’s worth. So, thanks, Scrum Cow.



Interviewers: Robb Pieper, Jason Malmstadt

Scrum Cow: Gregory Crown


Greg Crown

Likes baking, craft beer, whisk(e)y & beaches.
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